Saturday, July 9, 2011

It’s Not What You Say – It’s How You Say

People hate to be told what to do. People rather love to be invited.

We live in a world full of verbal bullies, and I think it’s high time that verbal bullies should be put in their place and liberty be given a greater opportunity to thrive.

These bullies are always ‘telling’. They are always barking orders, and they have never stopped to think about ‘asking’ or ‘inviting’.

It is really pinned around one important thing, and that is the need to develop the ability of showing respect to another human being with our words.

I tell my dog to sit. But when it comes to dealing with fellow human beings, I invite them to sit. I soften the way I speak to them by saying, ‘Would it be alright…’ or ‘How would you feel about….’ Softly, softly as you go.

When people are ‘told’ they may obey, but you will never win friends that way. Because even though they have been told to sit down and they follow your directives, they will be standing up on the inside and talking about you behind your back. And when they see you coming they will be ducking for cover, running away from you in every direction other than yours.

So if you have suddenly been made aware of your bullyish tactics, can I please invite you to stop telling your kids what to do. Stop telling your associates what to do. Stop telling your volunteers what to do. Stop telling your staff what to do. And start inviting people to enjoy the process and the results gained by following your polite and respectful directives.

It will change your life and save the lives of the multitudes from endless heartache as you touch their lives in the future.

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